Forget Utada Hikaru, forget Radwimps. Critically acclaimed newcomers? Bin it. Arashi are the true Japanese Gods of the Universe, the proof is in the pudding that is the Arama! Japan Awards 2016. According to the recent poll, the elite readers of the Japanese music world have spoken- and decided that Arashi should pretty much just do EVERYTHING, and why not? They’re the best at it.

You may be asking yourself whether it’s a case of a crazy fandom doing everything in their power to vote up their idols. As a staff member, I can assure you there is no such tomfoolery going on. Every vote came 100% from seasoned critical thinking and true love of quality entertainment. It just is a matter of fact that Arashi came down from the heavens to spread their insatiable mix of pop perfection. Oops I meant rock. Quality rock. Rock that would make Led Zeppelin destroy their entire legacy just to be a little close to Arashi’s greatness.

In the space of a year, Arashi have managed to pick up the following awards: Act of the Year, Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Music Video of the Year, Best Live DVD, Best Band/Group, Best Album Art, Best Idol Act, Best Idol Album and Best Idol Song. Any naysayers be damned, you can’t argue with results. If my house was burning down I’d send in Arashi to save my family. I’m going to throw away all the music I love because it just isn’t worth supporting anyone who can’t achieve this kind of acclaim.

It really shows how important the Arama! Japan Awards are, without them I’d be truly lost wondering “but WHO ARE the best Japanese act?”. Thank-you voters! Thank-you so much for showing everyone the light! Arashi are the true kings of the universe. Hoshino Gen quit and join them. Ken Hirai should just quit. Congratulations Arashi on your stunning wins this year. You are my new favorites and I have seen the light.

Hallelujah!